*When the phone rang one afternoon, 16-year old Kanika* who was just back from school picked it up without realising that this call would be repeated everyday without fail.
*
A male voice on the other end, described what she was wearing the previous day and it was then that the schoolgirl realised that someone had been stalking her. "Initially, I ignored these calls but over time Irealised that these were so frequent and the boy was extremely particular with every detail of my whereabouts which scared me like anything," she shares.
Though Kanika has now completed her education and taken up a job yet the topic of 'stalking' makes her come out of her office to speak on it. She recollects, "It was only when my father intervened and took an off on one particular day to receive the phone call that the matter was resolved." Even though it wasn't her fault, till date Kanika makes sure to not to make friends unless they are directly or indirectly known to her.
Kanika is one of many girls who have faced unnecessary overtures - from 'friends', ex-partners or perfect strangers. Is it that difficult to predict a possible stalking? "No, every girl does get an instinctive feeling in maximum 2-3 meetings with a boy," says Kanika. Then where does one draw the line and avoid the possibility of landing in trouble?
"Each individual has certain acceptable and unacceptable areas," says Dr Poojashivam Jaitly, clinical psychologist at Moolchand Medcity explaining that the problem
arises when "One starts sharing too much information about oneself with the other person. Even if in a relationship, one should maintain a fine balance between what
has to be shared and what not. Being close is one thing and letting the other person cause discomfort to you is another. One should not permit the other initially and then snap later," she adds.
Stalking is a very common problem faced by young girls who do not intend to invite offers but do get extra attention from the opposite sex. A similar case was faced by Anveksha* when she refused a friend in college, who was showing an interest in her. "The minute Isaid 'no' to him, his behaviour transformed. He started bitching about me and kept an eye on whatever I was doing. This annoyed and disturbed me because there was nothing between us," shares Anveksha who hasn't grown out of the bad experience even after passing out of college.
Every time she makes up her mind to be friends with everyone, the past disturbs her. As it does a lot of other girls who are unable to come to terms with the experience. They blame themselves because they have failed to gauge the trouble and also
because the stigma attached is immense.
"You might get a bit late in realising the situation but the first step is to politely refuse," advices Dr Poojashivam adding that if it doesn't work then "one must seek help from friends and family and withdraw yourself completely. It is important to communicate your discomfort in a very strong manner because ignoring might help only in the initial stages."
Stalkers seek pleasure out of causing displeasure to the other person but the problem gets out of hand because, "Girls don't realise how much they should share about themselves," concludes Dr Poojashivam.
*Names changed on request. Reported by Deccan Herald 4 days ago.
*
A male voice on the other end, described what she was wearing the previous day and it was then that the schoolgirl realised that someone had been stalking her. "Initially, I ignored these calls but over time Irealised that these were so frequent and the boy was extremely particular with every detail of my whereabouts which scared me like anything," she shares.
Though Kanika has now completed her education and taken up a job yet the topic of 'stalking' makes her come out of her office to speak on it. She recollects, "It was only when my father intervened and took an off on one particular day to receive the phone call that the matter was resolved." Even though it wasn't her fault, till date Kanika makes sure to not to make friends unless they are directly or indirectly known to her.
Kanika is one of many girls who have faced unnecessary overtures - from 'friends', ex-partners or perfect strangers. Is it that difficult to predict a possible stalking? "No, every girl does get an instinctive feeling in maximum 2-3 meetings with a boy," says Kanika. Then where does one draw the line and avoid the possibility of landing in trouble?
"Each individual has certain acceptable and unacceptable areas," says Dr Poojashivam Jaitly, clinical psychologist at Moolchand Medcity explaining that the problem
arises when "One starts sharing too much information about oneself with the other person. Even if in a relationship, one should maintain a fine balance between what
has to be shared and what not. Being close is one thing and letting the other person cause discomfort to you is another. One should not permit the other initially and then snap later," she adds.
Stalking is a very common problem faced by young girls who do not intend to invite offers but do get extra attention from the opposite sex. A similar case was faced by Anveksha* when she refused a friend in college, who was showing an interest in her. "The minute Isaid 'no' to him, his behaviour transformed. He started bitching about me and kept an eye on whatever I was doing. This annoyed and disturbed me because there was nothing between us," shares Anveksha who hasn't grown out of the bad experience even after passing out of college.
Every time she makes up her mind to be friends with everyone, the past disturbs her. As it does a lot of other girls who are unable to come to terms with the experience. They blame themselves because they have failed to gauge the trouble and also
because the stigma attached is immense.
"You might get a bit late in realising the situation but the first step is to politely refuse," advices Dr Poojashivam adding that if it doesn't work then "one must seek help from friends and family and withdraw yourself completely. It is important to communicate your discomfort in a very strong manner because ignoring might help only in the initial stages."
Stalkers seek pleasure out of causing displeasure to the other person but the problem gets out of hand because, "Girls don't realise how much they should share about themselves," concludes Dr Poojashivam.
*Names changed on request. Reported by Deccan Herald 4 days ago.